ohio

I guess now that I live in Ohio I should start poking fun at it.

Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio:

• All I have to say is "Go Bucks!"
• You might be from Ohio (pronounced O-hi-uh), if:
• You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!
• You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.
• You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
• You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candied ones.
• "Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means "south."
• You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
• You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in Cincinnati.
• "Vacation! " means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer and deer hunting in the fall.
• You measure distance in minutes.
• Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
• Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
• You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
• You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.
• You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. For example: "Where's my coat at?"
• You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
• You think of the major four food groups as corn, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
• You carry jumper cables in your car.
• You know what 'pop' is.
• You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
• Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. (Amen!)
• You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.
• The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports.