Q. How can you tell when you're at a cessationists party?
A. The pinata looks like Benny Hinn
Q. How can you tell when you're at a cessationist's baby shower?
A. Nobody brought any gifts.
Q. Why did the cessationist make an illegal U-Turn?
A. He didn't think the no U-Turn sign was for today.
Q. How can you tell when only cessationists come to your wedding?
A. Nobody signs the guest book, for fear of adding to what is already written.
Q. What do you call a charismatic at an auction?
A. Broke, because they'll buy anything.
Q. How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Ten. One to screw it in and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Q. How many cessationists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. None. Because God can providentially heal the broken bulb himself, but he must do it sovereignly without our help.
Q. What does a cessationist have in common with the Grinch?
A. They'd like to steal the gifts from those who are obsessed with them.
Q. Why did the charismatic run the red light?
A. Because God didn't tell her to stop, and she didn't see any stop signs.
Q. Why was the charismatic parked at the four-way stop?
A. Because the sign hadn't changed.
Q. How do the charismatic and cessationist both become millionaires?
A. Charismatics embezzle money and hire mean cessationists attorneys to argue their way out of jail.
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1 comment:
How can you tell a cessationist blog? No comments.
What does a cessationist feel when cut? Nothing.
A cessationist and a charismatic walk into a restaurant. The cessationsit is sure they only serve breakfast till 11:00 AM but the charismatic convinced him they continue to serve all day long.
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