rationale christian thinking part 3

I was recently with group in which the teacher rightly spoke about how we too often we judge based on behavior over heart attitudes. I whole heartedly agree. I found it interesting however in the discussion that some of the group didn't see how behavior flows from the heart; some of the group didn't see emotion stemming from beliefs; some of the group thought that we could actually win the fight by controlling our behavior and emotion; etc.. I was surprised given we had recently had an excellent teaching on the topic.

One individual even said our hearts could be controlled by "generational curses". I wonder where people get there Bible training from?

Anyway, this has prompted me to move on with the posts regarding Rational Christian Thinking. The next thing we need to know, and I saw this in the group mentioned above, is people don't recognize the difference between a thought and a feeling. An example is as follows.

As Joe walked down a path, he notices a snake ahead. He turns frantically and runs away in fear. The activating event is the seeing the snake. The consequential feeling is fear. The decisive behavior is running away.

BUT - the snake did not frighten Joe. He was frightened by what he believed about snakes. When he saw a snake, Joe's beliefs were triggered and they caused the feeling responses of fear and anxiety. Joe, not the snake, is responsible for Joe's fear, whether that fear was rational or irrational. Joe chose to become fearful because he chose to maintain fear-causing beliefs and thoughts about snakes. He could choose to feel differently about snakes if he decided to alter his beliefs and thoughts.

This is a tough concept for many people. We are taught to focus on outside events as the cause of our emotions. "Snakes scare me," or, You make me angry." There's a good one. I cannot tell you the number of times I walk into a group of people, tell a joke, and get all kinds of responses. One person laughs their head off. Another is offended. Another doesn't get it. Another gets it but is bored. Another is embarrassed. Etc. What's the difference? Same delivery, same person telling it, same content, same environment, etc. The difference is the belief of each of those people regarding me and the content of the joke - or some other problem from an earlier event that they have mistakenly connect to this.

Incorrect use of the word feel:

• I feel like going o be with Mother at Christmas.
• I feel like taking algebra next semester.
• How do you feel about the way the choir sang?
• I feel they sang well, but I'd feel better if they sang more worship songs.

Corrected examples:

• I think I will go to be with Mother at Christmas.
• I believe I will take algebra next semester.
• What do you think about the choir?
• I think that they sang well, but I believe that they need to sing more worship songs.

Proper use of the word feel:

• I feel enthusiastic about going to be with Mother at Christmas.
• I feel excited, yet a bit nervous about taking algebra.
• What do you think about the choir?
• I feel happy when they sing well, but I feel great joy when they sing worship songs.

And of course to further complicate, we often have a spiral effect where various events , beliefs, feelings, behaviors compound subsequent events, etc..

Net, one step is to learn how to say what we mean and mean what we say as we try to work through the tangled maze of our thoughts and feelings.

Technorati Tags: Christian living