Sunday, September 14, 2008

keys to forgiveness

In TrueFaced, the authors outline 6 keys to forgiveness:

1) Admit something happened - as simple as this seems, until we admit we have been sinned against, we cannot forgive. We must not dismiss or diminish what has been done.
2) Forgive the consequences of the act done - very, very often the affect of a sin on our lives is even greater than the triggering act. We need to be honest about this and include healing of this in the process.
3) Tell God what happened - this is not just between you and another. God is intricately and inextricably involved in the healing process. Remember, it is only His power that makes any of this possible.
4) Forgive the offender for your benefit - this is between God and us for our sake. A vertical transaction must take place. We need His healing and very often, we need His forgiveness for how we have reacted in our hurt.
5) Forgive the offender when they repent for their benefit - this completes our healing and also brings the other into their healing.
6) Distinguish between forgiving and trusting your offender - it's ok to forgive yet continue to have boundaries.
7) Seek reconciliation, not just conflict resolution - God is about complete healing and this means community building. Getting through crisis but not re-establishing relationship falls short.

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