Friday, May 30, 2008

dispensationalist road crossing

Michael Patton's blog is hot these days with "why did the X cross/not-cross the road?" humor. Today's offering is TOP TEN REASONS THE DISPENSATIONALIST DID NOT CROSS THE ROAD.

10. Thought he would be raptured before he got there anyway.

9. Thought that the other side was for the ‘Israel’, and this side was for the ‘church’.

8. Charles Ryrie was still on this side of the road, why cross?

7. Thought it was pointless since Jesus was just going to bring him back after 7 years.

6. Like the OT prophets and the church age, he was unable to see the other side.

5. He was afraid that if he went, there would be nothing to restrain the man of lawlessness.

4. He was not a part of the dispensation of ‘crossing’.

3. Dallas Theological Seminary hadn’t yet published anything telling him how to do it.

2. Thought there was a two thousand foot gap between the 69th and 70th step.

1. By taking a consistently literal approach, he thought that ‘cross the road’ meant something about the crucifixion.

That was great. And you all thought I was not wear bells of equal opportunity.

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