I find the following to be true:
The biggest problem people have in searching for community is just that. You don't find community; you create it through love. Look how this transforms the way you enter a room full of strangers. Our instinctive thought is, "Who do I know? Who am I comfortable with?" There's nothing wrong with those questions, but the Jesus questions that create communities are, "Who can I love? Who is left out?"
Here are two different formulas for community formation:
1. Search for community where I am loved: become disappointed with community2. Show hesed love: create community
--Paul Miller, A Loving Life: In a World of Broken Relationships