love your wife

It is an honor and a privilege to be a husband ... and with that comes the responsibility and blessing to love one's wife ... Joe Thorn writes a bit about that in Note to Self:

Love your wife ...

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church andgave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. EPHESIANS 5:25–27

Dear Self,

It is your calling and privilege to model Christ as husband to your wife through sacrifice and service. You are familiar enough with this passage to quote it and talk about it, but what counts is living it. Don’t you know Jesus? Haven’t you learned from him what love, sacrifice, and service look like? If so, you should be ready and eager to demonstrate this to your wife, because grace gives birth to grace. Because you know and follow Jesus, you are ready to truly love your wife.

That doesn’t mean love is easy. It isn’t. This is why it must be commanded and why you must be reminded. And consider this calling. You must not only have warm affection for your wife, you must love her as Christ loves the church. This is a sacrificial love—one that denies self and seeks the good of his bride.

I know that you say you would die for your wife, and I believe you. But if that is true, why won’t you let go of self-interests on her behalf? If you love her, and would lay down your life for her, why can’t you lay down the remote control in order to give her your attention? Do you serve her and seek her betterment? Do you seek her growth in grace? Consider this: your calling is not only to care and provide for her in a general sense, but to seek her spiritual beautification. And this is primarily done as you model Christ to her as husband. No one else can do this for her; it is your calling alone.

You should seek to be the brightest representation of Jesus she sees, as you represent Christ as Savior and servant to her. That would look like seeking her out when you get home from work, instead of seeking solace for yourself. It means affirming her calling and gifts, listening to her, speaking words of encouragement to her, and at all times working for her good. Jesus loves you this way, and in like manner you are called to love your wife.