What shall we say then? It is clear that forgiveness - promising another never to bring up his offense again to use it against him - is conditioned on the offenders willingness to confess it as sin and to seek forgiveness. You are not obligated to forgive an unrepentant sinner, but you are obligated to try to bring him to repentance. All the while you must entertain a genuine hope and willingness to forgive the other and a desire to be reconciled to him or her. Because this biblical teaching runs counter to much teaching in the modern church, it is important to understand it. Such forgiveness is modeled after God’s forgiveness which is unmistakably conditioned on repentance and faith.
Chris Brauns lists other great quotes on the topic here.
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7 comments:
Rick,
I've long thought I was the weirdo for wondering how we can forgive people who don't wish to be forgiven. The murderer who boldly laughs about his crime can't be forgiven. The murderer who realizes he has done a terrible thing can.
Dan - don't feel too good, you're still a weirdo, just not for this reason.
:)
Seriously, the more I look at this the more I see the opposite as being damaging both in this context but also our overall understanding of our condition, the work of Christ, etc...
i wrastle with this regularly.
We can absolutely forgive those who don't want to be forgiven. In secret and in private. Reconciliation is not equivalent with forgiveness. Reconciliation is conditional. Forgiveness is not dependant upon another. Example: bitterness towards a dead relative; it is very possible and necessary to forgive them.
Matt - I respectfully yet totally disagree. Why would I forgive a dead relative?
To me, forgiving without repentance and intent to reconcile is not Biblical and not matching my understanding of the definition of forgiveness.
On the other hand, I am to be gracious, anxious to forgive, not bitter, etc... That's independent of forgiveness.
I can see what you are saying, in a way. But, forgiveness can be given without someone seeking repentence. I have had to forgive people who, probably, to this day, don't even remember and wouldn't think they did anything wrong if I brought it up. If I would "hold-out" on them, or retain bitterness or anger towards them (essentially unforgiveness) I would be losing BIG time. Saying whether or not it's a sin is not the point even. The point is, If I wouldn't forgive (give up the right to bring them to justice or hold-out on them) and relinquish that to God, I would suffer from the anger/resentment/bitterness. Now, in forgiving someone there is no obligation to retain an old best-friendship with someone or regain the same exact consistency of relationship; but the quality of having no strife between the relationship, at least from your end (unforgiveness being strife therein) is absolutely necessary and completely freeing. Knowing that the Cross of Christ now only justifies us from our sin, but also expiates us from sin committed by others against us. These are my thoughts, I am willing to admit I could be wrong, but this is my conviction.
You, or I, would forgive a dead relative, to be freed from the powerful hold that bitterness and increasing anger can hold on a human soul. For your own sake, not so much for theirs in that case.
Matthew - we are on the same EXACT page regarding, " If I would "hold-out" on them, or retain bitterness or anger towards them (essentially unforgiveness) I would be losing BIG time." The difference is that I am not calling this forgiveness. In several other posts I discuss Christian attitudes toward all. We are even called to love our enemies. Our difference is that I do not refer to this as forgiveness and in my very humble opinion, I do not think the Bible does either.
So in my interaction with others, I am to be like godly. He sought us while we were enemies. He is gracious and kind. He is slow to wrath. Bitterness and disdain cannot be attributed to him. He provides the way to forgiveness. But in the end, in my understanding, forgiveness is reserved for those who have repented.
Net - I agree with all that you wrote except I do not refer to that as forgiveness.
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