small group values

Bill Donahue, in Leading Life-Changing Small Groups writes that most small groups have a set of fundamental values about group life. Here are a few.

1. Safety: Creating a place free of judgment and condemnation in order to build a foundation for trust.
2. Authenticity: Being real about pain, struggles, joys, hopes, dreams, fears, thoughts, and feelings. Avoiding pretense and putting on a false self to hide real issues and needs.
3. Care: Expressing concern and support to one another with words and actions.
4. Growth: A desire to make progress in life— spiritually, emotionally, and relationally.
5. Confidentiality: Promising not to talk to people outside the group about what people share and do in the group.
6. Respect: Honoring each person’s right to have opinions and recognizing their dignity as a human being.

A fair list to be sure but I think #1 could be unpacked a bit more. That is, small groups should be absolutely safe but not comfortable. Confronting sin is rarely comfortable. Stirring each other toward higher goals is rarely comfortable. Etc... But, when done in an environment of love, will always be safe. So the verbiage chosen by Donahue, "free of judgment", leaves me wanting. I would say judgment is required but not condemnation is unacceptable in the community of saints.

But that aside, I think this is a very good list.